My self esteem is awesome

[Tarkus]

I was talking with my mom the other day and she brought up (for the millionth time) some story about a lady my dad's friend was dating. This lady was married long ago but divorced the asshole because he was, well, an asshole. My mom goes on to tell me how he damaged her psychologically and all this mess. For 15 years he told her, every day, that she is a worthless piece of white trash, without him she is even worse. Told her that she will never amount to anything and she is dumb. Really pretty hard on her. Well, she has no self esteem now. Thinks she is shit. She isn't, but damned if she doesn't think that way.
I find this odd. Ok, I listen to people, but what they say about me has no effect of me. This is why I never got the whole self esteem is affected by others thing. In 5th grade, I told my DARE officer my opinions and he had my stand in the front of the class and tell them. I basically got laughed at, people thought my idea was stupid and just not true. We were doing a thing on how your self esteem is effected (affected? damn it...) by what other people say to you. Bullshit I say....
I have a great self esteem. I know I am the pinnacle of human evolution and believe me, I let others know. I have come to this conclusion through my own research, I do not need others to tell me. My brother calls me weak, smelly, dumb, slow and a whole manner of other insults. Does it take hold? Nope. My brother could tell me this ever day of my life, I would still never believe him. Other peoples opinions about me are their opinions, and I don't really care about them. If you think you are a good person, and smart, then by golly you are!! I never understood how anyone could let someone else effect the way they feel about themselves!
Anyway, sorry for the rant. It has been bugging me and I wondered if anyone else thought like this??

 

[Gangabiss]

I agree.

I found it funny and scary at the same time when a friend of mine said he wanted to become a marine so that he could "be the best". I told him if he believes he is the best then he is the best. You don't need some dick in a uniform to tell you that.

He also said it would be good for the soul........I had no words for that.

I'm not sure if that fits in with what you're saying, but I find it amazing that people look to others to give them their worth so readily.

 

[daisy jane]

I know I am the pinnacle of human evolution and believe me, I let others know.

I'm going to go ahead and back you up on this one Tarkus. It's true, he always does let people know. He should be allowed to, since it is the truth and all.

Back to the topic, I gotta agree. There are just some people that will never get over their insecurity issues. Sigh. These are the types that take every joke you say too seriously. I would be surprised if anyone disagrees with this thread.

On a side note, "Now kids, take this balloon and demonstrate your self esteem." Haha.

 

[Guest]

I know exactly what you mean. For some reason I have never cared about others opinions or words in respect to myself. I don't get depressed really, I seem to have a very healthy mind. I do think the mentally strong are a dieing breed as medications and exaggerated day lenghts take over people's lives. I have a few fairly close friends who have battled with depression for various reasons many of which have to do with usually a current or former partner or childhood/family issues. My aunt has the same problem; my uncle was/is a very degrading person. She divorced him finally but she'll never be a strong woman again; she is broken. Basically the same type of things said to her for years and he would keep movin her farther from her family so that my mom and grandmother would be less and less of an innfluence to her.

Since to love someone you really do open yourself to be crushed possibly; if you are never open to be crushed can you really love then?

J.

 

[daisy jane]

Good point Pyrex. My roommate is on 700 different kinds of medication. And no she doesn't toke and she never wants to. But, I am pretty sure that if she just did, her so-called emotional problems would dissipate. I have a laundry list of childhood/family issues (I'm sure a lot of you do too) but I don't let that get in the way of living a happy life!.

 

[TrichomusCaesar]

whoa whoa whoa....I wouldn't go so far as to say weed helps emotional problems.....fact is....the only thing that helps emotional problems is finding out what they are and dealing with it.

Drugs aren't the answer.

 

[daisy jane]

I should have clarified. Sorry about that. The point I am trying to make is that maybe her mellowing out (thanks to mary jane) would help calm her mind down. I understand that "drugs aren't the answer" but she is on a practically endless amount of pills from her doctor. My opinion is, she would be better off smoking than swallowing pills all day. Especially since one of her prescriptions is to a medication that has been known to cause suicides if you forgot to take it.

 

[Guest]

I realize I'm going out a limb here especially among people who do have emotional problems but:

I have a very close friend who has been medicated since early childhood for mutitudes of depression in multiple forms. More than half of her life has been spent finding the "right drug" to make her happy. WTF? It is my personal belief that all the drugs have done is lead her to believe that she can't be happy or mentally healthy unless she is "on her meds". Unfortunately, this will always be a huge source of conflict because she does not know any other way to be now and my opinion of her situation only aggravates and inflames the situation and her attitude as well as heavily affecting her self esteem. It's a cycle that is so embedded now that the only way to undue it is likely with more drugs. Seems to me like intentional mental addiction on the part of pharmaceutical companies but even more so on the Doctors who have the authority and power to tune out the Pharm Comps in regard to "prescribing practices".

In short; I think it is all in her head thanks to the "help" of professionals.

J.

 

[Guest]

It's very true that one has to love their selves first and fore most, but I think in some situations with parents/significant others saying you are shit, are alot harder to deal with for some people. Which is understandable.

I was very similar as a kid, and even now I couldn't give a rats ass about what people think of me. It doesn't even matter, I just don't get how people could be so effected.

And I also have never found the need to let people know "I am the pinnacle of human evolution"

 

[Guest]

In short; I think it is all in her head thanks to the "help" of professionals.

It always suprises me (well not really that much) that people think just because someones a doctor or psychcologist that they know all and you should follow their advice unwillingly.

 

[Guest]

It always suprises me (well not really that much) that people think just because someones a doctor or psychcologist that they know all and you should follow their advice unwillingly.

Why shouldn't we? They are supposed to be a professional! For the same reason that I expect a weatherman to accurately predict the weather and I expect my politician to represent me.

I know this is not always the case and alot times isn't the case but it should be or stop being represented as such. If a doctor isn't know all and see all, can fix everything then he should stop being paid as such. If a weatherman can't actually predict the weather then stopping paying him a professional's salary.

If you don't know you can fix it then how do you know it's really broke? We're not talking about opening a radio to learn how to make a tape play backwards; we're talking about medicating children to be "happy" but when it goes wrong use the excuse that we're just humans and we can't control everything.

 

[Guest]

Johnny Allen, I just noticed that you said unwillingly. Well in the situation I describe it started before she had a say in matters. By the time she was old enough to make her own decisions she had already long been "treated" by professionals from a few different specialties.

J.

 

[Tarkus]

I have spent a good portion of my life in a shrink's office. Not just one, there have been a few. Good thing I never took them seriously, because most of the people I know that go to them seem to think that the psychiatrist is one of the smartest people in the world. I guess I am going to the wrong ones, because I have found most of them to be rather average. Most psychiatrists/psychologists or anyone of that nature seem to have an incredible power over their patients. My mom for instance, can not lie to hers. Not in the least bit. Weird, I lied to mine all the time. Tell them crazy stories, make sure they are listening. But they all suck. I would just sit there staring at them and getting pissed knowing they are making a retarded amount of money to listen to me. They never helped, they just listened. Hell, my girlfriend does that and....well, yeah....and other things.

Plus, they all seem to think I need Ritalin or Concerta.....don't get me started on that!

 

[Jesusbuiltmygro]

It's good to be confident, but from my observation your taking it too far.

Is it not reasonable to think that as a defense mechanism you have developed an inflated ego. This is probably better than no self esteem for sure, but it can still be dangerous and especially if you like to brag... which you seem to sorta.

Does that mean you will want to brag about you grow. Tell everybody how your grow is the next evolution of growing. Maybe bring some hot round booty 19 year old up to check it out and BOOOM captain ego is getting his chocolate starfish knocked in.

I'd also warn you that sometimes people don't remember things the way they really were. Even the people WE trust the most only tell us one side of the story. Unless you were there, don't bother on learning any life changing lessons because it's all hearsay. You can't experience an event through hearsay you can only wonder about it.

It's good to let pointless insults fall, but you will eventually have to admit you are a social animal and like it not you desire the praise of the others. It's better to embrace this idea and use it. Don't fight the system... use it. You psychologists gets paid regardless if you lie.. you know. You're not really lieing to him. He hears BS everyday. You're lieing to yourself by thinking you're smarter than your psychologist who is ultimately there only to help you.

That's like lying to your DR about your cold symptoms so you can trick him to giving you medicine that won't help you.

All you really needed to do was learn how to control the situation instead of rejecting it. Instead of swimming up stream, learn to use the system better. Your words.. I've heard them before. Sorry to say but your feelings are quite common among teenagers.
I think you can safely say almost every teenager has felt or thought what you just said. So... no you are not an example of perfect evolution. Thinking you are would be a great weakness.

You are a flawed human, and not very much different that the rest of us. Someday you too could easily be a slightly delusional psychiatrist because you're lying to yourself now. It's better to realize your flaws and limits as early on as possible so you can try to correct them. Being oblivious and over confident is what the dumb ass jocks do in high school. If you think you are all that, you will likely not improve yourself nearly as much as if you feel unsatisfied with your own performance.

Sometimes you just need confidence too.. there are certain occasions where reality should be overlooked for every ones benefit but in the long term they call that denial.
Not realizing your own limits and flaws is living in denial and it means you learn slower.

On the other hand realizing your limits and finding people who don't have those limits .. that's learning !. Surrounding yourself with people who are all smart and 'better' than you and you will become smart and 'better'. Surround yourself with people who makes you feel like your smart because they aren't and you will most likely not learn much and therefore not get smarter. A smart man surrounds himself with smarter men and over time becomes smarter.

It's easy to be the smartest person in your group of friends, but it a bad situation to be in really because humans learn best by example and if you are the top of your food chain.. then who do you have to learn from. Time keep on ticking and everday you spend not hanging out with prodigies and having your ego deflated, but your intelligence increased is one more day that someone else will spend learning.

When your young.. everybody is stupid. Your friends, your parents, your doctors. It's easy to be smarter than dumb teenagers.. no offense, but when your older you'll realize I'm just telling you the truth. If I was as smart as a teenager as I am now. WOW I would have single handedly ruled my high school like a king. But life is a learning experience no body start old holding all the cards. Get out there and live and learn and meet people smarter than you. Then you won't feel like such a prime example of evolution anymore, but you will actually be smarter and not just think you are.

 

[Guest]

I think there's a line between having high self esteem and being arrogant.

To me, saying "I'm the pinnacle of evolution, I'm the best" is arrogance, not self esteem.

 

[daisy jane]

Sarcasm is hard to spot on the internet. Since I know Tarkus personally, I know he is only kidding.

 

[Guest]

Personally, a Psychologist/Psychiatrist whatever the hell you call them.........can only help on the surface cause the truth is he/she listens because it's in their best interest (salary,fees, whatever). When someone does it free of charge and even loses time (once gone it's gone) then you know it's because they care and in you interest not theirs. Thats just me and no matter how many issues I have (alot) not a single paid soul will hear them from me.

J.

 

[Tarkus]

Wow Jesusbuiltmygro. I may be a social animal, and not by very much, but I do not desire the praise of others. I do not have an inflated ego, I merely have a self-reliant and healthy one. You may depend on the kind words of others to get you through the day, but I am perfectly capable of living without them. What works for you does not apply to others. When I tell a shrink that the ink blot that looks like a fish looks like a dog, I am lying to him. I lie to the shrink because he does not deserve to know the details of my life. Who is he to meddle in my affairs? And when I was a teenager, I had many other trusted confidants I could talk to, when the need arose.
I have many intelligent friends, as I can not stand idiots. My brother and closest friend is one of the smartest people I know. Has been my entire life. I instantly fell in love with Daisy jane because she wasn't the typical girl I was used to. All my previous girlfriends were dumb, I only dated them because I was a horny teen. Daisy is one of the smarter people I have ever meet, and the only girl that has stimulated my mind.

As far as the pinnacle of human evolution, obviously a joke. But when you've always been the best, it's hard not to wonder if there is some truth....
Ok ok, lets try to put this in a less "delusional" way....
The Best among equals.

 

[Guest]

no one person can ever be considered "the best" of our species. that's just crazydaisytalk IMO

 

[Jack Crevalle]

no one person can ever be considered "the best" of our species. that's just crazydaisytalk IMO

You sound like a broken record bro, just like his brother calling him weak or a looser.
In his opinion he's the shit. So what? I truly wish more people would evolve and not be affected by what others say and tell them. If someone is that secure and confident, I do consider it the pinnacle. There are so many people with shitty self confidence due to bulliers and abusers.