Man Cuts Off Penis Because God Told Him To...

[Midnite Rambler]

A man cut off his own penis and threw it in a toilet ‘so he would stop sinning’. The 30-year-old was recovering in the Hospital Clinico Universitario in Salamanca in western Spain. Doctors said his condition was ‘stable’ and he was not in danger of losing his life. The man, from Salamanca, cut off his penis with a knife on Thursday morning.
The local newspaper La Gaceta reported when relatives called emergency services, he told ambulance workers he did it “so would not sin any more”.
A relative found the man, who has not been named, in the house where they lived in the city and raised the alarm.
He was bleeding heavily.
The newspaper said it was not known if the man’s penis could be sewn back.
There was also a suggestion he may be suffering from psychological problems.Maybe huh?

 

[9Lives]

Pfft...dumbass..god was just ****in' with you!..

He must have never heard of dinosaur fossils..

 

[killa-bud]

my son,you must cut of thee sining stick,for it tiss,no good....

you sure god?

yes i'm sure my son

hey jesus,get in here i just got this guy to cut off his dick

 

[Kizzattack]

God must have smoked too much if he told him to do that.

 

[KharmaGirl]

Maybe God is a woman

 

[Kizzattack]

Interesting thought.
Although I'm an athiest/hopeful agnostic, I never hear people considering that whatever God could be out there is a Woman.

 

[Piffington]

Ouch

 

[technogrow]

why does God need a sex.. its a being...

 

[Kizzattack]

Maybe God is a hermi?
One thing is for sure, we won't find out what the hell it is and even if it exists untill we die, although some people claim to have spoken to it.

 

[Tripco]

A few years ago, a guy from some village in Serbia cut off his dick too in some kind similar way. He was on some pills and he've drunk some strong alcohol, so he climbed up the tree and he was yelling something like "no more sin, no more ****ing around, you made me outlaw" and he cut it off and threw it away in some tall grass. A few minutes later he realized what he have done and he came down from the tree, so he begun the search for the dick along with his friends. Unfortunately, some stray dogs found it first.

 

[strain_searcher]

You have to have big balls to saw off your shlong

 

[Kailua Kid]

You have to have big balls to saw off your shlong

Or a really little brain.

 

[Guest 18340]

Stupid is as stupid does....

 

[Feyd]

anyone who cuts off their own dick because a fairy tale character told them to do so doesn't deserve to have doctors waste their time sewing it back on.

edit, hope i dont offend anyone by this post.
i dont believe in god as portrayed in the bible or any other fairy tale about a higher power, and i definitely dont believe in cutting my dick off.

 

[Rosy Cheeks]

Maybe God is a woman

I'm sorry KG, but this paparazzi pic of God clearly shows him to be of the masculine sex, and his homies are cherubes.

 

[DogBoy]

Check out the other dude in the pic. His pecker is miniature. Maybe thats why god wanted it. Too many people laughing at the dude he likes to play fingers with......

One of those cherubes looks like his arm is a bit unconfortably placed too. Maybe gods backside is a giant beer cooler?

 

[Discombobul8]

Maybe God is a hermi?
One thing is for sure, we won't find out what the hell it is and even if it exists untill we die, although some people claim to have spoken to it.

God is a worm ...i like that. It makes sense. We all know that worms and penises are distant related cousins. Thousands of years ago when these microbial life forms came from the oceans some went underground and some were captured by humans and put into concentration camps. Soon the humans found out they could attach these worms and use them for sexual purposes. God, being a worm, has finally had enough and is starting a world wide campaign to free his cousins from human slavery and bondage. By choosing the weak first he will get his cousins cut free one at a time til he builds a vast army and then can over power the stronger and larger. Once he has created this vast army he will use it as a bargaining power over all men and the worms in turn shall enslave mankind and have womenkind live like royalty. Only the worms will be able to please.
Oh and if you wondered about God, here he is and does he not have a stricking resemblence to his cousin 'The Falis'

 

[technogrow]

just an artist depiction... kinda wierd that hes the only one with clothes on! Is that to hide his reproductive organs? so he can procreate if he finds a powerful woman being.... lol I think God is an entity, but may take the form of a man/woman to communicate. (or a burning bush) The only thing that makes me think otherwise is that the bible states that God made man in his own image.... Think about that one....

 

[Discombobul8]

God is a worm...unless anyone can prove any different i hold my ground. Why else would he want man to cut his one string bass off. Free all worm cousins and unite When the bible says that god created man in god's own image we all know what he was talking about. What makes a aman? If you cut this certain thing off you are no longer a man. QED God=Worm

 

[DogBoy]

I'm very confused, i listened to Faithless last night and Rollo was adamant that God is a DJ. Maybe DJ stands for "dodgy jangler" but i'd be crushed if he wasn't a DJ. I was going to ask him to carry my pills next time i went clubbing. Cant arrest god for possesion now can you!