It Blew My Mind

[Relapse]

A while ago I was sleeping and about midnight I had this dream, or thought, or something. Not really sure now what it was. Anyways in my dream I remember having the feeling like I was getting near a 'realization' and then it happened. Boom I had figured 'it' out. I woke up. It was profound.

I remember thinking at the first moment that I woke up was that the only reason it was so profound was that I was dreaming, but the more I thought about it the more I freaked.

A couple moments later I was gone.
"What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck!"

This though was going to change everything I believed.

I live in a dorm room at a university, I started pacing up and down the hall thinking to myself "what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck!" But try as I might I just couldn't wrap my head around what I had 'figured out'.

I soon knocked on my friends door and woke him up, I tried to explain what it was that I realized, but for some reason explaining was beyond me and I left to go back to bed. The only way I was able to get back to sleep was thinking to my self ' I can analyze this when I wake up, now is a bad time.'

It took me a while, but I fell asleep and quickly had the 'dream' again, although still a WTF moment it wasn't as profound, I still woke up and freaked slightly. I woke up the next day and all I could remember was the feeling of complete loss I had experienced during the night.

In retrospect I wish I had of written down what I had thought that night and today I can still slightly remember the feeling as well as the 'image' in my minds eye when I had the realization. My friend barely remembered me waking him up when I asked him about it the next day.

 

[Irishslappop]

sounds like an LSD flash back, if they even happen...hasn't happened to me yet.

 

[Relapse]

Never taken LSD or anything actually, aside from weed and alcohol. Do people have these mind-blowing thoughts on LSD?

edit: spelling

 

[Irishslappop]

pretty much man. I droped four hits one time and just like you said i "GOT IT" i understood what it was, how to do it, and felt extremely excited and good about it. But you forget what it is, and generally what you were thinking. You know that you had it, but you loose sight of it.

 

[Relapse]

You know that you had it, but you loose sight of it.

QFT

That's it man, exactly how I feel. Kinda pisses me off. Anyone ever write down their thoughts? Do they make sense after?

 

[Irishslappop]

i did write a few of mine down in order to try to remember, but it doesn't work man, you cant translate what you knew into words. Mine came out as 3 words. World, Joy, action. Which can be interpreted in god knows how many ways...

 

[HuffAndPuff]

DUDE! Ha, this sounds exactly like my first real trip on mushrooms. All I can say is that I understood the original language of the universe. Be thankful you only have to worry about trying to remember what it was...

When you are tripping balls for 8 more hours, with that awareness, it gets a little intense... Imagine... you're the only one who knows, and you can't explain it to anybody else... you are all alone.... Someone told me that I sat there silent for a LONG time, then turned to him with some tripped-out look in my eyes, and all I said was "It's like the matrix"... horrifed....

Just like the other guys said, it does slip away as you start to sober up. Once this has happened a few times, you realize that's the way it works. As intense as it may have felt, I think we can safely say that none of us 'figured it out'...

HuffAndPuff

 

[HempKat]

You got to keep in mind that perspective and perception play key roles in these epiphanies. When we have them, whether it be drug induced or in a dream state or some other mind altering situation, our perceptions and perspectives are skewed. We can view them detatched from ourselves. This makes them seem larger and seperate from us. In reality they are just part of our view on the world and usually it's some thing or issue we are struggling with. The dream, vision, epiphany, whatever is our mind's way of trying to come to some sort of terms with that conflict.

This remind's me of a time when I felt I had a startling vision. I didn't know it at the time but I was literally bordering on dying. I thought I had a bad flu but it turned out I had contracted mono. Mono never occured to anyone because I was older then the typical mono sufferer. Anyway, I had been running a high fever for several days and my kidneys were beginning to shut down. I suffered a dellusion that the fate of the whole world depended on my drinking this cup of juice I had by my bed (you know, get plenty of rest, drink lots of fluids, etc.) My glands in my throat were so swollen that drinking or eating has actually painful so I didn't want to drink but my mind kept telling me I had to or the world would come to an end. In trying to understand that I came to believe that literally the world and everyone in it was dependent on me to exist. That is I didn't do the right things, the world would simply cease to be.

Fortunately I had a coughing fit not long after that moment which caused me to cough up a little blood. That never happened to me before and was therefore enough to get me to go to a hospital. They were able to see things I didn't notice like my eyes and skin going yellow from jaundice brought on by my failing kidneys. They put my in intensive care as critical but were able to bring me back to health. Looking back on it now I realize that the great revelation I thought I had was really my mind in a dellusional state, trying to keep me alive. The belief I had was accurate but just from an odd perspective. The world did depend on me drinking and would have ended had I not done so. Not the world as it fully is but rather my world, or the real world from my perspective. The world and everything in it would cease because I would cease. At the time though I was thinking like the world would cease but I would go on which it may but I'll leave that alone since that gets into religious beliefs.

There was good information that came from that though, by spending that time thinking of the world as a truely is and then as it is from my own unique perspective and comparing the two it reinforces the idea that we do shape our own worlds and in so doing control our own destinies and our world can under the right circumstances transcend ourselves and create change in the real world. Not simply by wanting things but rather by wanting it, believing it can be and then taking steps to make it happen.

 

[blitz]

Relapse, I know what you mean. LSD can do this to you, and in general I get this sort of "'got it!' followed by gradual loss of clarity as to what I got" thing with most drugs. Basically, the enormity/confusion comes on because your brain was operating on a different level from the normal, conscious. Flashbacks are like this. You should always write stuff down, or try to associate these realizations with something concrete (a song, book, smell) so you have something to remember.

 

[Smokin' Chopper]

Not to digress...

I'd written down many things while on LSD in full understanding, even voice and video recorded, only to disprove myself when I was sober. The suggestion? I was still under the influence of a mind altering substance. Mentally in a place where time, gravity, existance.... doesn't thrive. "I understood!!!" but I realized jack shit.

Physics are not defied easily. Everything I invented on LSD, shrooms, peyote... all pipe dreams man. Though many would lead to some rather nifty inventions, they could not be reproduced in the sober world.

What's cool about weed is, it merely slows all of those thoughts down to make one focus on them, strenghten them, work them out, and then in the sober environment put them to use. You don't get distorted on weed. If you do, you're either doing too much, or there's something already wrong with your head that you just can't function at such levels.

I'm one of those that has a billion thoughts a minute, weed or alcohol can slow these and make them feasible. Sobriety can make them plausible if not possible, but anything else makes them a science fiction plot of "yeah whatever" standards. Hence the very reason I've quit everything 'cept weed and alcohol. And even those are moderated rather well.

Just my input on this one. Back on topic.


SC

 

[Smokin' Chopper]

(Just for clarification)

I've invented many things that were ideally born from mind altering substances. They worked in a sober world, but not like they were initially imagined in "the other world".


SC

 

[Relapse]

Thinking about this has made me remember slightly more, at the time I was busy watching 'The Venture bros.' probably my second run through in a row (great show BTW) and I distinctly remember my 'realization' was shown to me using their resemblance.

Also the only wording I remember from this which is too great of a simplification for what actually occured in my head was: 'All things are the same.'

Tho much more profound then that.

 

[Feyd]

QFT

That's it man, exactly how I feel. Kinda pisses me off. Anyone ever write down their thoughts? Do they make sense after?

No. Once I was so high with a few friends I had an epiphany, I thought I had answered all of mans questions regarding human nature and behavior. My friend was playing guitar on a futon and my other friend next to me was playing his in tune with the other.

I was holding a blunt in my hand, pondering over the nature of death as I watched the roach end of it slowly burn itself out. I started thinking of the blunt being aware of its own death, and being afraid of dying.

Then, it hit me. That knowledge that you just discovered something huge, something epic. I had thought I had stumbled across something that would be in the history books, I would be immortalized forever for this breakthrough.

I instantly became aware that I need quiet, and a pen. And something to write with. I got a spare napkin from a McDonalds bag, and was overjoyed when I thought about how I asked for extra napkins at the drive through. I thought, things do really happen for a reason. And my friends were still playing, and I couldn't concentrate. I, stoned out of my mind, was trying to translate to them in lamen terms what I had discovered, and why I needed silence to write it down.

I set to work instantly, writing on a napkin with a basic black Bic. I was amazed at how good my hand writing was. I thought, this napkin will be preserved forever somewhere in a museum. I didn't realize it, but I had actually not noticed that I had written the majority of my sentences off of the napkin, and on the white desk underneath it. I though "I'm going to die after I write this." It made perfect sense, at the time. I knew I was going to die. I felt a feeling rush through me that I had never felt before, similar to that warm feeling you get when you first start buzzing after a few beers. I was ok with dying, I thought.. this is a good death. I am incredibly high, with my friends. I started telling them I was dying, and that I wanted Neil Young played at my funeral.

To wrap this up, I read the napkin after I was done. I will never live it down.

 

[Relapse]

Aww come on man... What'd it say?

 

[Feyd]

I actually posted the contents here on ICmag, but it was apparently too long for anyone to read. A few people did and commented it, but it was 5 pages in my word processor. So i took it down.

 

[islandgrow]

Ive had what you are talking about relapse mainly on mushrooms, but Ive had them there beautifully deceiving.

You may want to try mushrooms/LSD sometime just start with a low dose and with some one you REALLY trust.


and regarding to one those moments stoned, I once was so high watching planet earth and I saw a underwater creature that looked like an ape head and I was so convinced I made my friends stop the show and rewind it( of course this took 5 min to get to the right spot because we where so stoned)

I understand that feeling its almost like your losing something of infinite value.

 

[Irishslappop]

on the idea of something infinate. When i get that "feeling" i sometimes describe it as the feeling of infinity. there is no way to put words to it, there is no describing it, it just IS. And while it's profound the firstfew times, you become accustomed to it and it's infinate and no big deal at the same time.


weird.