MountainBudz
⛽🦨 Kinebud and Heirloom Preservationist! 🦨 ⛽
This might sound a little crazy but it is something I need to rant about today and in all honesty I have come down to a conclusion, if you smoke marijuana and you are a good grower, with a shiny green thumb, DO NOT STOP SMOKING!
I used to be (not bragging, just being truthful here) the best grower I personally know in my area. Yes, there are many more online I have seen that could outgrow me easily but around here, no.
About a year and 6 months or so ago, I smoked daily, with a passion. I would burn through about a half to an 8th of bud a day. For some reason I developed a severe anxiety problem every time I would toke and start obsessing over stupid shit and have panic attacks. I eventually got tired of it and quit.
I miss it so much, I dream about getting high and every time i'm handling, smelling or trimming bud I get the sweats and get the runs and have to run to the toilet to dump. Thats how much I still love it.
One thing that has bothered me since I quit the most, is now I feel like a beginner grower and my plants and yields will tell you the same thing. In my 4x4 tent with a 1000 watt HPS I NEVER pulled under 17 ounces, ever! No matter the quantity of plants, style of growing, veg time, nothing mattered, I always pulled huge, long, sticky and potent heavy buds!
Since I have quit smoking and using, I have ran 3 grows indoor and have not pulled over 8 ounces yet and my worse of the three grows only came out to a whopping 6 ounces (SOG under a 1000w HPS!!!) I mean WTF!?!?! Seriously?
Now, that being said, when I smoked, I always felt like I knew what the plants needed and had a connection to the girls and always done everything right for them 98% of the time, give and take very minor mistakes.
Now it seems like every watering, I over water. Every feeding, I over feed and have more problems with environmental control as well. Its like i've seriously began questioning my ability and incompetence to grow anymore. One of the most depressing things i've ever dealt with, no lie.
This morning I went and visited my tent and my girls are currently in about 3 weeks veg (4 from seed but don't count veg until the second set of leaves) and as a man that never cries, I hit my knees and tears came to my eyes... I cried. As I looked at those girls, they were half the size and vigor of my previous 3 week plants (during those good ole days of toking) and I begged them to just be healthy and forgive me for neglecting the benefits of there therapeutic counterparts.
I don't know what to do anymore, this is my hobby, my love, my life... I LOVE to grow weed, I wan't to start smoking again. I have arthritis and bulging discs in my neck and i've been in so much pain that I never felt until I quit smoking.
I will not lie and try to hide it, but I have began self medicating with opiates/opiods now for the last 8 months to help with my pain since the doctors will not help me and the drug laws are so strict in my state. I live in Ky and we are not a medical mmj state whatsoever! Strict laws here man, I tell ya! However, yesterday two separate bills went up to the legislature to try and pass (one medical and one recreational) but I honestly see no hope in that. It would be a miracle.
I will also add that as I admit to self medicating with opiates, I do NOT abuse them but my tolerance has risen somewhat. I went from taking anywhere between 5 to 10 mg hydrocodone or oxycodone a day to now needing anywhere from 15mg - 20 or 25mg hydrocodone or oxycodone a day. I have noticed that since the medications are becoming harder to obtain due to tolerance issues which in turn is more financial issues, when I have to go a day without them i'm sick as hell. Straight up flu like symptoms with nausea, diarrhea and severe anxiety and agitation.
I am very disappointed in myself for doing this but at the same time, I really truly hurt. I have been thinking hard lately about starting to smoke mj again if I can battle the anxiety and panic attacks and hey, its always free medicine for me as well which is a BIG plus lol.
Anyway, got a bit off subject there but my point is....
If you are a good grower and you smoke your buds, don't ever give that up! Your grows will significantly go down hill...
Anyone else with a similar experience?? If so please share!
I used to be (not bragging, just being truthful here) the best grower I personally know in my area. Yes, there are many more online I have seen that could outgrow me easily but around here, no.
About a year and 6 months or so ago, I smoked daily, with a passion. I would burn through about a half to an 8th of bud a day. For some reason I developed a severe anxiety problem every time I would toke and start obsessing over stupid shit and have panic attacks. I eventually got tired of it and quit.
I miss it so much, I dream about getting high and every time i'm handling, smelling or trimming bud I get the sweats and get the runs and have to run to the toilet to dump. Thats how much I still love it.
One thing that has bothered me since I quit the most, is now I feel like a beginner grower and my plants and yields will tell you the same thing. In my 4x4 tent with a 1000 watt HPS I NEVER pulled under 17 ounces, ever! No matter the quantity of plants, style of growing, veg time, nothing mattered, I always pulled huge, long, sticky and potent heavy buds!
Since I have quit smoking and using, I have ran 3 grows indoor and have not pulled over 8 ounces yet and my worse of the three grows only came out to a whopping 6 ounces (SOG under a 1000w HPS!!!) I mean WTF!?!?! Seriously?
Now, that being said, when I smoked, I always felt like I knew what the plants needed and had a connection to the girls and always done everything right for them 98% of the time, give and take very minor mistakes.
Now it seems like every watering, I over water. Every feeding, I over feed and have more problems with environmental control as well. Its like i've seriously began questioning my ability and incompetence to grow anymore. One of the most depressing things i've ever dealt with, no lie.
This morning I went and visited my tent and my girls are currently in about 3 weeks veg (4 from seed but don't count veg until the second set of leaves) and as a man that never cries, I hit my knees and tears came to my eyes... I cried. As I looked at those girls, they were half the size and vigor of my previous 3 week plants (during those good ole days of toking) and I begged them to just be healthy and forgive me for neglecting the benefits of there therapeutic counterparts.
I don't know what to do anymore, this is my hobby, my love, my life... I LOVE to grow weed, I wan't to start smoking again. I have arthritis and bulging discs in my neck and i've been in so much pain that I never felt until I quit smoking.
I will not lie and try to hide it, but I have began self medicating with opiates/opiods now for the last 8 months to help with my pain since the doctors will not help me and the drug laws are so strict in my state. I live in Ky and we are not a medical mmj state whatsoever! Strict laws here man, I tell ya! However, yesterday two separate bills went up to the legislature to try and pass (one medical and one recreational) but I honestly see no hope in that. It would be a miracle.
I will also add that as I admit to self medicating with opiates, I do NOT abuse them but my tolerance has risen somewhat. I went from taking anywhere between 5 to 10 mg hydrocodone or oxycodone a day to now needing anywhere from 15mg - 20 or 25mg hydrocodone or oxycodone a day. I have noticed that since the medications are becoming harder to obtain due to tolerance issues which in turn is more financial issues, when I have to go a day without them i'm sick as hell. Straight up flu like symptoms with nausea, diarrhea and severe anxiety and agitation.
I am very disappointed in myself for doing this but at the same time, I really truly hurt. I have been thinking hard lately about starting to smoke mj again if I can battle the anxiety and panic attacks and hey, its always free medicine for me as well which is a BIG plus lol.
Anyway, got a bit off subject there but my point is....
If you are a good grower and you smoke your buds, don't ever give that up! Your grows will significantly go down hill...
Anyone else with a similar experience?? If so please share!
