What's new
  • ICMag with help from Landrace Warden and The Vault is running a NEW contest in November! You can check it here. Prizes are seeds & forum premium access. Come join in!

Funny Craigs List Post

Gumbala

Member
Read every line.

ORIGINAL INQUIRY

THIS POST APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST


What am I doing wrong?


Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

************************************************** ***************

PostingID: 432279810



THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know. :spank: :muahaha:
 
G

Guest

Man, do I love that guy's smack down answer to that woman. Maybe that superfical woman will learn something from it. Doubt though. She's was
thinking about what he said and passed a mirror and re-fell back in love with herself.
 
D

DogBoy

The fickle finger of femininity meets the dirty finger of sanchez! Lol
 
G

Guest

Well he said it better then i could have. Get an education, this is why women get a bad rap and why marriages fail.
 

DJ Jellyfish

New member
Spectacularly Beautiful? How can one define themselves as such? I believe beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder, but can also come from within. Even if this chick is drop dead gorgeous....she's nothing but another golddigger,and who needs that!
 
B

Boxy Brown

how about this one from SF

Well my Dell is on it's last legs. (...) For my needs I am looking for a laptop that is at least 1.5 ghz minimum. Built in wireles, pentium 3 minimum, in good condition. Basically, not a beater laptop but a well maintained machine. (...) Now offering prostate massage.

bbwlaptop.jpg
 
Last edited:

Feyd

sunshine in a bag
Veteran
I was appalled by the woman's post.

I cracked the f*ck up at the guys response.

Beautiful.
 
E

EatCannabisRaw

there's all sorts of stuff on the net like this but the reality is this stuff is happening all around the world all the time o_O
 
G

Guest

Hey, Boxy, is that a picture of the poster? If so....hmm..maybe we can work something out. lol
 
G

Guest

Old Fool said:
Hey, Boxy, is that a picture of the poster? If so....hmm..maybe we can work something out. lol

lol. Lets hope she can find a way to work it out
 

AriesXX

Member
I rarely say this, but that guy is well-spoken enough to deserve whatever ridiculous ammount he earns each year. If we were all so down-to-earth and logical, yet insightful, the world would be a better place. For reality to work, we all need to agree on it (I'm hot, so I deserve to marry rich right?). People have constructed some bizzare realities out there that make perfect sense to them. Unfortunatly, I think our government has the same twisted, materialistic world view as this girl, but they only win if we meet them half-way (yea credit cards!).
 

DoubleJ

Member
Ha.

I would have just told her she cant find a man because shes a blood sucking parasitical prostitute with no dignity, but thats just me.
 
B

Boxy Brown

Old Fool said:
Hey, Boxy, is that a picture of the poster? If so....hmm..maybe we can work something out. lol

yea thats her pic, and she has already taken down the listing.
 

Harry Gypsna

Dirty hippy Bastard
Veteran
LOL, tht just made my evening......
What a ridiculous shallow self serving vacous moron she must be...
The guy was funny but i bet hes a prick too
(see im not predjudiced, i hate ****ing every1)
 
Top