Fire and Ice; The Curse of Life

[Guest]

This really happened today!

I'm on my way to pick up my daughter from school and a little ways up I can see 2 girls tapping or banging on a car's windows. (I'm walkin) As I walk by one of the girls asks me "Hey, you know how to break into a car?" I looked at her kinda odd like and looked around and she says; with an embarrassed look, "I'm not a cop....I locked my keys in the car! So, I said yeah and she handed me a wire hanger and about a minute later {click}. I pop her door open and she yells "Thank you sooo much, I was afraid I was gonna have to get a lockguy out here and pay a bunch of money." The other girl yells "He got it!" Now, the screendoor on the house opens and I shit you not, 12 or 13 girls; every one of them pretty good looking and early-mid 20's. (Which, I am too) They start pouring out the door like a clown car and coming quickly. I'm surrounded by pretty girls who are trying to keep me around talking and hanging out and I have to go get my daughter or she'll just be left standin. FUCK!!! Then again, I do have a girl but still this isn't an everyday kind of occurence. I do good but a total of 15 girls or so and me, myself and I? Shit!!!, I know what I need to do.........and I move on. About and hour after I get back home, I get the mail and Jesus fuckin christ what is the deal today!?!?!? I get a letter that says my greenhouse has to be "wrecked" by midJune. I have a neighbor who recently had his house inspected because it has been 3/4 destroyed and not rebuilt in 4 years. Well,......he's a petty fuck who I get into small scraps with every now and then. The SOB started bitchin to the inspector that if she writing his house off then she should be to others in violation in the neigborhood. (mostly fence BS but I got caught on my Gh) So, now I had to find a place to off my plants and get it cleaned up so I can get the shit inspected and back up again. So there goes 6 Organic/Soil fem. White Rhinos about 12-14" tall. Damn man, couldn't get a break today. As for that petty fuck; as soon as the plants are off premises that SOB's mine! He doesn't know I grow anything but cactus, he just wanted to cause problems which is what he usually does for myself as well as others in the neighborhood. Luckily, my girl talked me out of pushing his drunken ass down the porch stairs.

J.

 

[marx2k]

I dont get why neighbors are universally assholes? I think everyone has an asshole neighbor living on one or both sides of them. I know I do.

 

[nycdfan042]

^^yeas i got a neighbor who wont stop pacing..all day and night back n forth back n forth and he is a heavy set man lives alone...dont wanna say anything cuz i grow(its also a part of life when you live under a fat bastidlike this one)...you jut kinda have to understand that people are people and thats what they do...annoy other humans...

 

[.♠.]

I dont get why neighbors are universally assholes? I think everyone has an asshole neighbor living on one or both sides of them. I know I do.

I hear ya there. I have neighbors on both sides of me. I used to only have one and life was just fine. The whole neighborhood was good actually.

Then about a year and a half ago some jerk built a house on the other side of us and he has been a pain in the ass ever sence.

He called out surveyors and the like, claiming I had to move my fence because it was on his property. The fence has been there for over 20 years, lol. I pushed back and found an old law that states if a fence has been the divider of property for "X" amount of time then it can stay and act as the property line.

He was pissed for a bit, but got over it.

He has a 9-11 year old son who is always climbing their side of the back yard fence (Privacy fence) and teasing my dogs. Three Pit Bulls. I have talked to him about this, his dad, filed formal complaints with the town about it, along with clearly posting signs in order to protect my dogs, and I suppose the idiot kid too.

The whole neighborhood is tired of this guy and his kid. Hope they decide it is a little better to blend/merge with the comunity then it is to be a thorn in its side.

Peace

 

[Guest]

my asshole neighbors have kids also so it doubles the lameness of my loser redneck, welfare collecting neighbors. with my taxes its like i pay both of our rent

 

[zamalito]

I'm surrounded by racist assholes. Everyone in my neighborhood threatens to fuck up my car if I park in front of their house because I'm not the same race as them despite living there for 8 years. A few months ago the couple next door was fighting because the husband lost his job. I had loaned them a large sum of money because they just had a baby and I didn't wish for them to be homeless. Anyways he comes to my door with a black eye because she punched him in his sleep. He used to box professionally and I didn't want this to escalate to the point where he'd punch her back so I offered my couch to him until things calmed down. She couldn't stand for me to offer him a place to stay kept picking fights ewith us. With the first incident she had gotten so wrapped up in spewing her racist babble about how we don't belong in "her neighborhood" that shed neglected to watch her child. The minute I drive up she's yelling at my wife and the baby is about to crawl off their porch to a 5 ft drop to the sidewalk. By the hand of god I had just enough time to run up and catch him just as he was about to fall. When she found out how much money he had borrowed from me and that he had signed the title of his convertible over to me as collateral (which still only covered half the debt) she attacked the ragtop with a steak knife then called the police to tell them I was keeping her husband prisoner by feeding him crack to take their car and all of their money.

Don't forget these people would be homeless if it wasn't for my generosity. Not to mention that she probably would've pushed him too far and gotten beaten by him if I hadn't intervened.

So the police show up thinking I'm a crack dealer who has her husband prisoner (when he heard her voice he ran out my back door to leave me to deal with his wife because he was scared to) so I have to let the police walk through my house and every room to prove that I don't sell crack and her husband isn't there. Of course they weren't worried about her even after I told them about what she did to my car.

This has turned out like just about every other act of generosity I've don't over the past year.

 

[nycdfan042]

^^ that just ruins it for people who need you later on in life....its sad how people misuse and mistreat the people most willing to help you. There is an old spanish joke something like this "guy breaks down in his car, his jack is too weak and breaks, this man goes door to door asking if he can borrow a jack or use the phone in a decent neighborhood and he isnt a scum bag or anything. Anyways he gets denied and denied, doors slammed in his face untill he finally tells the next neighbor to shove his jack up his ass before he even opens the door."

 

[marx2k]

My neighbor to the right side of me is an older woman who lives alone. Im guessing she has too much time on her hands so she complains about everything. If our grass is not mowed, she will actually complain to the city about it claiming that the unmowed grass is bringing down HER property value because it makes her house look bad. Personally, I don't get America's obsession with making their front and back yards look like a golf course.

If I park on the street versus my driveway, she will actually call the city and report the car as abandoned! (I can get a sticker saying I live in this house so the cops don't keep putting notices on my car, but I'm too lazy). She will bitch to the owner of the house about EVERYTHING (I am not the owner, but the owner is my girlfriend and I live here).

She will complain about the appearance of *THIS* house. No shit.

When my girlfriend bought this house, even the prior owner said to be careful of her.

I don't know how the rest of the neighborhood gets along with her as this is a suburban community and most of the people living here are seriously bland, Harley-Davidson-cross-branded-SUV-driving-kids-to-their-playdates/or-soccer-game, overpopulating, leaf-blowing-versus-raking, riding-lawnmower-for-their-10x10-lawn, fearing-black-people-driving-down-their-property-value, Saturday-breakfast-at-IHOP, Target-fashion-wearing, holier-and-more-affluent-than-thou-hypocrytical-Christian, wine-tasting-party-throwing, hyperproud-of-their-posessions, hyper-socially-competitive, just-waiting-to-die, automaton asshats.

So basically, I stay away from these people also. Come to think of it, they probably get along just fine with my next door neighbor.

 

[nycdfan042]

^^ hell yea!!! you went on a genkhisan-esque bender there dood!
Im in the same boat to, same assholes different town.

 

[Guest]

or different assholes, every town. i definitely got some bad ones here

 

[genkisan]

Mass dosing and Thorazine is the only answer......











Either that, or we beam all these selfish, parasitic, shit-munching blobs of malignant consumerist eel-turds into the heart of the sun.












But due to the fact that the technology is lacking to realize the latter suggestion, I vote for the former one........acid and Thorazine for EVERYONE.........

 

[zamalito]

Everytime someone mentions thorazine I think of the "thorazine shuffle" from one flew over the cuckoo's nest

 

[earth77]

why!!!!

why!!!!

we moved to the country with lots of land i was so excited my dog would have lots of room to run and play and there are lots of dogs here none on leashes they chase the cars down the road come on my property and play with my dog.Well on night he left the property he never had before.A cop showed up at the door and my dog also with his leg blown off he tells me he was called because a neighbor heard a gun shot he said the guy did not know if the dogs were playing or fighting and he didnt mean to shoot him so the cop tells me i did not know who he belonged to and he was hurt so iam supposed to put him down he shot him in the other back leg thats when my dog ran home and the cop followed him he had been bleeding for at least an hour or more the cop was very worried about the dog even helped get him to the vet he said he missed and he was a animal lover he called to check on my dog at the vet the vet told the cop well you didnt miss and i looked in this dogs mouth he has not bitten anything!I think my dog just has a bad rep because all the storys on the news he is a American Staffordshire Terrier (pitbull) so now i fear if he ever got lose he might lose more than his leg next time.He is healthy now and doing very well!!! for getting his leg blown off by a slug shot and a 45 in the other.