Family services question

[Paranoid Blunts]

dfys/ Family services in NJ, usa

My girl's ex owed about 2800 in child support, as well as driving drunk when he visited his daughter. she filed for sole custody, the dad didn't even show up to court. (Warrants)

One would think the case is won. Little did we know the judge would order a piss test, and yes she was positive. She had no prior arrests, no criminal records to speak of. The judge questioned her she admitted drug use in the past (a little too candidly) and the judge put DFYS on the case.

her friend also had a similar situation with her ex, also smokes, also goes to court to gave the child support enforced. She has never been tested as it's not customary. my girl is biracial and ger friend is blond.

dfys has since then harassed our apartment, not even bothered with her dad at all, and speaks to my girl as if she is a crack addict, her daughter is still bringin in all As & Bs, and thanks to me in the picture she has some material stuff too. at first my girl complied and took a few tests, the caseworker visited about once a month asking the same questions and pretending the case would be closed soon. then she would recommend a 5 day a week drug program, when she tried to attend the guy laughed when my girl said she had never been arrested. apparently she didn't belong there. and no to mention she could not be employed or barely pick her daughter ip from school because of these hours.

It has been almost a full year since this day, and we recently stopped her from coming in our house, she will lie manipulate and try to guilt trip; she has nothing to go on. she is collecting anything to try to make something....she went to the littrle girls school and pulled her out of class, the girl was beyond embarrased. she is now asking about me where i live and "If i drink".

can they follow me out of state. any help please.

this site as well as overgrow have helped me in the past, and yes nj dfys does behave like that and it was also ridiculous to me.

 

[JJScorpio]

It's not uncommon for a Judge to order an inv prior to issuing custody.

You failed to specify what she tested positive for. Was it for something other than weed?

As for following you out of state. The answer is no. Once you leave the picture, it is the girl they are supposedly protecting....

 

[Paranoid Blunts]

just mj, and i meant can/will they follow US out of state. there is till no charge and they are not attempting anything as far as taking us to court.

the girl has solely lived with mom for 80% of her life. What's amazing though her ex haas a criminal record, has warrants, has gotten picked up and didn't pay his outstanding cihld support and that's ok. In a previous custody fight he actually was allowed to leave the courtroom for a hour and then come back to take a drug test(!!!!!) that the mother requested for both....NJ is lovely.

 

[JJScorpio]

Obviously the prior Court case involved accusations of drug use.

When you go to Family Court, your files are placed into a folder. At each subsequent case these past files are looked at as background information. I would have to guess that your girlfriend had drug issues raised at previous Court cases.

Will they follow you to another State? It depends how intense things are now. Is there another Court date for your girlfriend? If there is, and she doesn't show, and the Court feels the child could be in imminent danger, he can issue a Family Court warrant and have her and the child brought back....

My suggestion? Can't she quit smoking long enough to get things in order and then move and start over? Personally, if it were me, I would tell the Court that I smoke at parties or get togethers a couple times a month, and never around the child. I can't believe the Court is making such a big deal if there hadn't been harder drugs involved in past cases involving the Court....

 

[Paranoid Blunts]

she passed a few of their tests, originally cooperating...but she can't not work at all for 6 months to then see if there needs to be another 6 month program when the program people admitted they've never gad a non criminal be in that program...if she says she smokes at parties they will damn near take your child...admit to gabitual use? anything you say in this program will be used against you...even ger saying "i was really stressed i made one mistake it will never happen again" got tirned into her having a problem let alone habitual use.

i asked her she told me the dad did call dfys on her years ago though. they lived in a hotel he manipulated and controlled everything (he is 19 years older than her)

there is no court date, she has been coming here for almost a year asking the same questions forgetting info and trying to act like a friend...they are not, they remind me of a car salesman when they talk.

The court is not involved any longer...they didn't even mandate any therapy...dfys is pushing that and have no way of forcing her, they will keep harassing acting like we're old pals..

 

[JJScorpio]

Under those circumstances, if it were me I would move and get a fresh start with people. I know how these people can haunt you and it's best to be polite no matter how upset they make you. As long as the child is doing well I believe they should lay off.

It's obvious they see no imminent danger or they would have filed a neglect petition with the Court and pushed the issue further. Before you move, if the child is of school age, be sure to weigh what relocating the child to a new school against what you are going through.

 

[ARTofMAKINGfire]

So, can your girlfriend stop smoking for a year or so or NOT?

That's what it's going to take because MJ is still illegal like it or not and public officials must act accordingly, especially when it concerns children.

So instead of complaining how messed up the system is, get control of what YOU can control. ie. drug intake. And you won't have to worry!

 

[Paranoid Blunts]

I'm not complaining, just trying to make sense of this garbage and gather info.

Consecutive clean urines led to their further involvement, it's simply annoying and embarassing to a girl who's just worried about watching hanna montana. the case lady repeatedly asks her about her deadbeat father and throw it in her face. My girlfriend's job drug test, it's not an issue.

I'm not looking to dash, just needed to know what would happen if i move, only if she wanted to.

 

[yamaha_1fan]

Did the state take custody of the kids? The state can take custody but let them remain at home. If so, you cant leave. But if not and they are only investigating you, then sure you can leave.

I know its expensive, but get a lawyer. The lawyer will be cheaper than moving.


You need to stick up to them or they will push you around forever

 

[whodi]

Yes get your girl to stay clean and get a lawyer

 

[Paranoid Blunts]

hilarious update....

so exactly one day after the case worker visited the school, and i posted this, all of a sudden they sound desperate and want my girl to just come in one more time for random test (how is that random) and they'll close the case if everything is ok.

Hmmmm

when my girlfriend asked her about her returning to the school the worker got all uptight and said no.....we'll have to see what tricks these budget whores try to pull.

 

[madrecinco]

What a cluster fuck!