Lecture 14 - A Letter of Condolence
Lecture 14 - A Letter of Condolence
Learning from the Gosho: The Eternal Teachings of Nichiren Daishonin
The Buddha Shares Others' Sufferings
A strong person is gentle. "Birds cry, but never shed tears. I, Nichiren, do not cry, but my tears flow ceaselessly" (The Major Writings of Nichiren Daishonin vol. 1, p. 94). Nichiren Daishonin wrote these famous words while in exile on Sado Island. He had great and abounding compassion. He was the perfect embodiment of profound feeling and towering wisdom.
Dostoevsky writes, "Great ideas spring not so much from noble intelligence as from noble feeling." (1)
Buddhism is a religion of compassion and wisdom --- these are inseparable. A person of true wisdom has unparalleled compassion. A person of deep compassion embodies the wisdom of Buddhism.
The Japanese word for compassion, jihi includes the meaning of suffering together or crying out in sympathy with others. The Buddha first of all shares others' sufferings.
Take the case of a mother whose child has died, who is sitting in a daze on the roadside. Probably no words can heal her heart. And passers-by, unable to do anything, will have no choice but to walk briskly past. Occasionally, a cleric may stop before her and try to instruct her with a look of affected enlightenment. But no one can truly share her grief.
No matter how science advances, even though it can send a human being into outerspace, it cannot assuage a mother's sorrow. Maybe only the words of a woman who has been in the same situation can reach her.
What would the Buddha do in such an instance? He would probably sit down at the mother's side. And he might simply continue sitting there, not saying a word. Even if no words were exchanged, the mother would sense the warm reverberations of the Buddha's concern. She would feel the pulse of the Buddha's life. Eventually, she would lift up her face and before her eyes would be the face of the Buddha who understands all her sorrows. The Buddha would nod and the mother would nod in reply.
Even without words, there is no greater encouragement than heart-to-heart exchange. On the other hand, even if a million words are spoken, nothing will be communicated in the absence of heartfelt exchange.
At length the Buddha would stand up, and the mother, as though following his example, would probably also rise. Then, together, they would advance forward one step, then another --- their way gently illuminated by the light of the moon. The Buddha would tirelessly offer encouragement, until the mother could lift her head high, until she could determine to lead a life of great value for her deceased child's sake.
The Buddha is sometimes gentle, sometimes stern, sometimes offering bouquets of words and sometimes taking action with those suffering. To the mother, the Buddha is a true ally, for he empathizes with her sufferings and brings her the greatest peace of mind. For this reason, the Buddha's words penetrate her life.
At its roots, compassion is the spirit to suffer alongside and pray with those suffering. The Daishonin possessed such a spirit. He joined Ueno-ama Gozen, the mother of Nanjo Tokimitsu (Lord Ueno), (2) in her grief and tears when her youngest son, Shichiro Goro, passed away at the tender age of 16. He continued to offer her encouragement until she regained the will to go on living.
During the first year or so after Shichiro Goro's death, the Daishonin sent approximately 10 letters to the Nanjo family. We can imagine how his deep concern must have warmed their grieving hearts.
Starting with this installment, we will begin studying a number of letters sent to the Nanjo family by the Daishonin --- and the human drama that they tell.
"Letter to a Bereaved Family"
On the matter of the death of Nanjo Shichiro Goro, all people, once born, are certain to die. This is known to all people, both the wise and the foolish, both those of high and low standing. Therefore, when that time comes, one should not lament or be alarmed as though learning this for the first time. I have borne this in mind myself and also taught it to others. But since the time has actually arrived, I cannot help wondering even now whether this [Shichiro Goro's death] is a dream or fantasy. (Gosho Zenshu, p. 1567) (3)
Just as there is the drama of joy upon the birth of a child, there is the drama of grief upon the death of a loved one. In the fall of 1280, these two dramas played out one after the other in the Nanjo family.
The drama of joy was the birth of a son. In a letter dated Aug. 26 that year, the Daishonin expresses his delight to Nanjo Tokimitsu and his wife on their being blessed with a son in addition to their infant daughter. The Daishonin named the boy Hiwaka Gozen (Gosho Zenshu, p. 1566).
It must have been deeply moving for the couple that the name he selected contained the Chinese character for sun (Jpn hi), which forms part of the Daishonin's name, Nichiren (i.e., the same character is also pronounced nichi). This was one year after the Atsuhara Persecution, (4) and they must have felt that the weariness had in an instant been swept away. Above all, Tokimitsu's mother, Ueno-ama Gozen, was deeply moved by the birth of a grandson who would succeed as head of the family and by the Daishonin's congratulatory message.
But only 10 days later, on Sept. 5, the Nanjo household was visited by misfortune. Tokimitsu's youngest brother. Shichiro Goro, died suddenly. He was only 16. While the cause of his death is unknown. it must have been very sudden and unexpected. Their celebration of the birth of a son and grandson was overturned, replaced by sorrow at Shichiro Goro's death. The family's grief knew no bounds.
The Daishonin, too, was surprised by this turn of events. As soon as the messenger bearing news of Shichiro Goro's death arrived, the Daishonin immediately wrote a reply to Tokimitsu, the "Letter of Condolence" which we are studying this time, dated Sept. 6.
The impermanence of life is inescapable. In Buddhism, this is a fundamental premise about the nature of existence. Why should death come as a shock? From the standpoint of life's eternity, it could be said that birth and death are occurrences of minuscule significance. That is all well and good in theory, but the human heart cannot fully come to terms with such events through theory alone.
The Daishonin was thoroughly human, a most humane person. Hearing the unexpected report, he was in disbelief. He wondered whether it was "a dream or fantasy." Further on, he indicates that he is in such turmoil he doesn't feel up to continuing to write. These words must have expressed the feelings of the bereaved family members as well.
In the letter "Sad News of Lord Goro's Death," (5) which is thought to have been written to Nanjo Tokimitsu about a week later, the Daishonin says:
Until now I have repeatedly thought to myself that the matter of Nanjo Shichiro Goro's death must have been a dream or a fantasy, or certainly untrue, but it is again mentioned in your letter. And so, for the first time, I have become convinced of its truth. (Gosho Zenshu, p. 1566)
The Daishonin says that he has had a hard time accepting Shichiro Goro's death. What compassion the original Buddha shows! He mourns the death of this young follower, just as a parent would.
The Daishonin inscribed his immense compassion for all humankind in the Gohonzon. He says: "Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life and continue chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, no matter what happens" (MW-1, 161). Just as he says, in both times of joy and times of sadness, everything will turn out for the best if we continue chanting daimoku.
Someone may expound a fine teaching while abiding in a place of comfort and safety --- but that is not Buddhism. A genuine Buddha lives among the people, grieves and suffers with them and shares their hopes and laughter. That's how the original Buddha, Nichiren Daishonin, conducted himself.
Above all, the Daishonin did not blithely brandish theories of karma. Making condescending pronouncements to suffering people like, "That's just your karma," will only add to their misery. Someone battling destiny feels like there is a gale raging through his or her heart. When we encounter people in such a state, we should stand with them in the rain, become sopping wet with them and work with them to find a way out of the storm. In the end, that's probably all another human being can do.
Even if the attempt is not totally successful, through making this effort we forge a bond between ourselves and the other person. This is not mere sympathy or sentimentality. The effort to regard someone else's suffering as your own and thus offer prayer for its resolution creates a life-to-life bond. Through this bond one person touches another's life.
Lecture 14 - A Letter of Condolence
Learning from the Gosho: The Eternal Teachings of Nichiren Daishonin
The Buddha Shares Others' Sufferings
A strong person is gentle. "Birds cry, but never shed tears. I, Nichiren, do not cry, but my tears flow ceaselessly" (The Major Writings of Nichiren Daishonin vol. 1, p. 94). Nichiren Daishonin wrote these famous words while in exile on Sado Island. He had great and abounding compassion. He was the perfect embodiment of profound feeling and towering wisdom.
Dostoevsky writes, "Great ideas spring not so much from noble intelligence as from noble feeling." (1)
Buddhism is a religion of compassion and wisdom --- these are inseparable. A person of true wisdom has unparalleled compassion. A person of deep compassion embodies the wisdom of Buddhism.
The Japanese word for compassion, jihi includes the meaning of suffering together or crying out in sympathy with others. The Buddha first of all shares others' sufferings.
Take the case of a mother whose child has died, who is sitting in a daze on the roadside. Probably no words can heal her heart. And passers-by, unable to do anything, will have no choice but to walk briskly past. Occasionally, a cleric may stop before her and try to instruct her with a look of affected enlightenment. But no one can truly share her grief.
No matter how science advances, even though it can send a human being into outerspace, it cannot assuage a mother's sorrow. Maybe only the words of a woman who has been in the same situation can reach her.
What would the Buddha do in such an instance? He would probably sit down at the mother's side. And he might simply continue sitting there, not saying a word. Even if no words were exchanged, the mother would sense the warm reverberations of the Buddha's concern. She would feel the pulse of the Buddha's life. Eventually, she would lift up her face and before her eyes would be the face of the Buddha who understands all her sorrows. The Buddha would nod and the mother would nod in reply.
Even without words, there is no greater encouragement than heart-to-heart exchange. On the other hand, even if a million words are spoken, nothing will be communicated in the absence of heartfelt exchange.
At length the Buddha would stand up, and the mother, as though following his example, would probably also rise. Then, together, they would advance forward one step, then another --- their way gently illuminated by the light of the moon. The Buddha would tirelessly offer encouragement, until the mother could lift her head high, until she could determine to lead a life of great value for her deceased child's sake.
The Buddha is sometimes gentle, sometimes stern, sometimes offering bouquets of words and sometimes taking action with those suffering. To the mother, the Buddha is a true ally, for he empathizes with her sufferings and brings her the greatest peace of mind. For this reason, the Buddha's words penetrate her life.
At its roots, compassion is the spirit to suffer alongside and pray with those suffering. The Daishonin possessed such a spirit. He joined Ueno-ama Gozen, the mother of Nanjo Tokimitsu (Lord Ueno), (2) in her grief and tears when her youngest son, Shichiro Goro, passed away at the tender age of 16. He continued to offer her encouragement until she regained the will to go on living.
During the first year or so after Shichiro Goro's death, the Daishonin sent approximately 10 letters to the Nanjo family. We can imagine how his deep concern must have warmed their grieving hearts.
Starting with this installment, we will begin studying a number of letters sent to the Nanjo family by the Daishonin --- and the human drama that they tell.
"Letter to a Bereaved Family"
On the matter of the death of Nanjo Shichiro Goro, all people, once born, are certain to die. This is known to all people, both the wise and the foolish, both those of high and low standing. Therefore, when that time comes, one should not lament or be alarmed as though learning this for the first time. I have borne this in mind myself and also taught it to others. But since the time has actually arrived, I cannot help wondering even now whether this [Shichiro Goro's death] is a dream or fantasy. (Gosho Zenshu, p. 1567) (3)
Just as there is the drama of joy upon the birth of a child, there is the drama of grief upon the death of a loved one. In the fall of 1280, these two dramas played out one after the other in the Nanjo family.
The drama of joy was the birth of a son. In a letter dated Aug. 26 that year, the Daishonin expresses his delight to Nanjo Tokimitsu and his wife on their being blessed with a son in addition to their infant daughter. The Daishonin named the boy Hiwaka Gozen (Gosho Zenshu, p. 1566).
It must have been deeply moving for the couple that the name he selected contained the Chinese character for sun (Jpn hi), which forms part of the Daishonin's name, Nichiren (i.e., the same character is also pronounced nichi). This was one year after the Atsuhara Persecution, (4) and they must have felt that the weariness had in an instant been swept away. Above all, Tokimitsu's mother, Ueno-ama Gozen, was deeply moved by the birth of a grandson who would succeed as head of the family and by the Daishonin's congratulatory message.
But only 10 days later, on Sept. 5, the Nanjo household was visited by misfortune. Tokimitsu's youngest brother. Shichiro Goro, died suddenly. He was only 16. While the cause of his death is unknown. it must have been very sudden and unexpected. Their celebration of the birth of a son and grandson was overturned, replaced by sorrow at Shichiro Goro's death. The family's grief knew no bounds.
The Daishonin, too, was surprised by this turn of events. As soon as the messenger bearing news of Shichiro Goro's death arrived, the Daishonin immediately wrote a reply to Tokimitsu, the "Letter of Condolence" which we are studying this time, dated Sept. 6.
The impermanence of life is inescapable. In Buddhism, this is a fundamental premise about the nature of existence. Why should death come as a shock? From the standpoint of life's eternity, it could be said that birth and death are occurrences of minuscule significance. That is all well and good in theory, but the human heart cannot fully come to terms with such events through theory alone.
The Daishonin was thoroughly human, a most humane person. Hearing the unexpected report, he was in disbelief. He wondered whether it was "a dream or fantasy." Further on, he indicates that he is in such turmoil he doesn't feel up to continuing to write. These words must have expressed the feelings of the bereaved family members as well.
In the letter "Sad News of Lord Goro's Death," (5) which is thought to have been written to Nanjo Tokimitsu about a week later, the Daishonin says:
Until now I have repeatedly thought to myself that the matter of Nanjo Shichiro Goro's death must have been a dream or a fantasy, or certainly untrue, but it is again mentioned in your letter. And so, for the first time, I have become convinced of its truth. (Gosho Zenshu, p. 1566)
The Daishonin says that he has had a hard time accepting Shichiro Goro's death. What compassion the original Buddha shows! He mourns the death of this young follower, just as a parent would.
The Daishonin inscribed his immense compassion for all humankind in the Gohonzon. He says: "Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life and continue chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, no matter what happens" (MW-1, 161). Just as he says, in both times of joy and times of sadness, everything will turn out for the best if we continue chanting daimoku.
Someone may expound a fine teaching while abiding in a place of comfort and safety --- but that is not Buddhism. A genuine Buddha lives among the people, grieves and suffers with them and shares their hopes and laughter. That's how the original Buddha, Nichiren Daishonin, conducted himself.
Above all, the Daishonin did not blithely brandish theories of karma. Making condescending pronouncements to suffering people like, "That's just your karma," will only add to their misery. Someone battling destiny feels like there is a gale raging through his or her heart. When we encounter people in such a state, we should stand with them in the rain, become sopping wet with them and work with them to find a way out of the storm. In the end, that's probably all another human being can do.
Even if the attempt is not totally successful, through making this effort we forge a bond between ourselves and the other person. This is not mere sympathy or sentimentality. The effort to regard someone else's suffering as your own and thus offer prayer for its resolution creates a life-to-life bond. Through this bond one person touches another's life.
