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big decision, need advice

mtbazz

Member
Hi Everyone,

No entirely grow related, but I have BIG decision to make, and am hoping that some people on here will be able to give me feedback.

My father ecently passed away, my mother is still alive, but in poor health. They have modest ranch house on 3.5 acres in a very rural and secluded area of an eastern seaboard state about an hour north of a major city. I have the chance to buy by paying off the reverse mortgage ($150,00). The value of the land and house is probably over $300,00. MY mother also wishes to remain in that home until she dies.

My current house is a townhouse 30 min north of major city on the east coast that backs up to a busy highway (on nice weekends all I hear all day long are cars, motorcycles, and trucks, and in the early morning hours on weekdays I can feel the vibration of the truck jake brakes in my bed, its that close) . The positive side of my current locationis that it is close to work, major highways, rail trasnport to major east coast cities, and stores. The negative is that it has alot of traffic noise, and is a townhouse.

The positive side of my paretns rancher is that it is very quiet, on a significacnt amount of land so Id have privacy, and is a single family home. The negative is that it is almost an hour to work, 20-30 minutes to a supermarket, and far from major highways (i.e. I-95). All of this will have a huge impact on my social life (which isnt all that to begin with). I would also probably end up living with my mom there also.

Also, I do have a nice harvest I am able to pull out of my townhouse closet every couple of months, this will have to stop for a undetermined period of time needless to say, especially if I will be living with my mother. This is actually the part that is the hardest, lol...

Any suggestions/feedback, or input?
 

Dan42nepa

Member
Sounds like you are in the tri state area or similar. An hour drive to work sucks but when i lived in north jersey, it was hard to live anywhere near where you worked. I personally like the seclusion and the quieter life living in a less populated area. You also have to take into account bad weather. Also a concern would be which property will increase in value within the next 20 years. Its a major investment but could be a very good investment. Not sure the property tax situation either. If your mother is in poor health she probably needs you but with working not sure how much help you could give unless you can work from home or something. Any way you can keep both?
 

mtbazz

Member
Im looking into keeping both, but it is hard to rent (according to one real estate agent).
I like the seclusion also, and having grown up in that house my parents have, would get used to it again, but I also have grown accustomed to hoping a train to the city to see shows, etc...

Hands down, their property would increase in value over the next 20 years. In this particular area, acerage like that is a rare commodity.
 

Dan42nepa

Member
hard to believe that it would be hard to rent in a densely populated area. Renting brings its own problems with quality of tenants etc. Also lots of towns have ordinances about subletting places. It would be nice to maybe stay in the townhouse 3 days a week and spend mondays and fridays at the country place.
 

Tubuku

New member
I am in a similar situation. My Mom is 80. I live in a secluded area of Florida, only on an acre though, but very secluded. Home prices 300k to $1,000,000. Make no mistake...Living with an elderly parent in ill health is not easy. My Mom is in great health but is just an ornery, crotchety lady. "What ever happened to the sweet lady that used to be Mom?" She's right here! She is your Mom. Step up to the plate and take care of her, now that your Dad is gone. Medicare should pay for a day nurse if you need one. Sell the townhouse and move back in with Mom. You should have no problem finding a place for a small grow during this time. Let's keep the priorities straight. PM me if you like. I'm going through the exact same situation. Peace out :joint:
 
G

Guest

you have remote, secluded 3.5 acres in the middle of no where, and you'll have to stop growing why?!?!?!?

Screw your social life dude and all that city bullshit everyday. Family is what matters most... and obviously this isn't permenant. I say you grow a few gardens outsite, and keep your mom well. You will gain more from this then staying in the city. I also live in a big city, and I miss my family. I would drive an hour to work any day to live further away, jsut to get away. The city is cool and all but it is hard to find real, geniuine peace. Trust me, smoke a fat joint on your moms porch or whatever and you'll see what I mean. You have a window here that I personally would take.
 
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Take care of mom. I'm a big believer in family first. Life is short and we'll be where she is soon enough. I've been rural for about 12 years and never have regretted it. Peace and quiet put me in a lot better space. Good luck with your decision.
 

CaptJamesTKirk

Active member
shellybelly said:
Take care of mom. Good luck with your decision.




Got kids? How do you want them to act,,, say in 40 or 50 years?

Rent the condo out - or sell it if there is equity.

Go help mom - keep her out of the nursing home,, -- your both likely to learn something.
 
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mtbazz

Member
Thanks guys, seems like your all a bunch of big hearted people, my instinct has been telling me the same (sell my house and move in with her). It would be good for my mom since she will have compaionship, and a good move for me financially since I cant really afford to live where I am at...It will be diffucult for sure, because mom has some mental health issues, but ill have to learn to deal with it...

It is a nice piece of land also, over 3.5 acres, half wooded, and is very tranquil....
 

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