sunset_chaser
New member
The state of Maine has voted for and repealed
proabition of alcohol 3 different times. I think
we should let Canada have Maine for that reason
alone, but judgeing by what the other 49 states
elect to serve in Washington and that it would
fuck up the flag and lots of other things we
should keep Maine, unless the Peurto Rico for
the 51st state people come up with the cash
we can do a deal to swap Maine to Canada and
Peurto Rico can be the new 50th state.
Welcome to newest Canadian province
Nova Scota Maine and boy are they a bunch of
weirdos.
As I reached my teens I was amazed that religious
girls were as horny as party girls. I started going
to whatever church my current girlfriend went to
and ended up seeing quite a few religions.
Phenecostpal was the strangest with holy rollers
and speaking in tongues.
The one universal rule of all religions was that
thiers was the only true god and all others were
fake religions.
My favorite religion was baptish as my black
girlfriend liked to have 3 ways with other
girls. I don't know if she was lezbian or
bi but I doubt that many lezbians buy a dildo
as that would make them a cheater on the other
lezbians.
My family has always been Catholic for many
generations. We had a huge family bible in latin
full of scary pictures that nobody could read.
Saturday 7 hours of bible study called caticism
and Sunday church up to 4 hours on your knees for
a religious holiday like christmas or easter.
Never ate meat on Friday as Jesus died on a
Friday while the rest of the world lives for
the weekend Catholics start out with a 24 hour
meat fast and eat fish all day Friday.
The nuns started to hate me from the start as I
asked too many questions. I would listen to the
hour long bible story and then my classmates
would say "Oh thats how you get to go to heaven
when you die."
I asked the nuns about all the latino families
naming baby boys Jesus and wasn't that a
blastphemy or arrogence?
Once I asked "You mean the little baby that was
not baptised doesn't get to go to heaven?" The
old nun left the classroom and I would pounce
on the young nun still there, I would ask
"You mean a lil baby that never did nothing to
nobody, never learned to walk or talk doesn't
get to go to heaven"?
The young nun would improvise and say if the baby
didn't get a chance to be baptised it got to go
to heaven so it was most important for the parents
to baptise the baby as soon as possible.
So then I would ask "You mean if the parents didn't
get the lil baby baptised soon enough then the
parents get to go to heaven but not the lil baby"?
The young nun would then ask if anybody else had a
question about something else? I would say "Yeah
last week we learned about baby Jesus and the virgin
mother Mary, and the old nun left the class without
really answering my question"?
The young nun would start in with the same speech
the old nun said about an allseeing, allpresent god
made a miracle baby that was gods son, so then I
asked what about the 800 year old church that fell
down on all those catholics praying inside in Italy
last month and wouldn't an allseeing, allpresent god
have let the church fall down when it was empty?
I also still haven't about the Noah's arc boat trip
picture I drew, can you tell me how that picture
I drew with one big boat for Noah's family and all
the animals and a small boat for the two skunks
following the big one wasn't how the story was?
And out the door would go the young nun, all my
classmates would look at me and say your not going
to heaven for asking to many questions and I would
answer back that I was baptised so I get to go but
I was walking and talking before I was baptised so
may be there might be something we haven't learned
yet in bible study about how old you are when your
baptised or someone being to old to be baptised.
At the end of the year the nuns would pass out
little religious statues for best student, perfect
attendance or most improved student. I never got
a single statue with 4 years perfect attendance.
After 4 years of every Saturday harassing nuns
they asked my parents if I could stay home on
Saturdays and just show up for church on Sundays
as I was a distraction to my fellow students.
Next week a my long boring story about the
vegaterian hooker with diariea and irratable
bowel syndrome.
et al...
Clem and Earl entered a church raffle and Earl
won first prize a trip to Hawaii and Clem got
last prize a toilet brush. When Earl got back
from his trip he saw Clem who looked very sick.
Earl asked Clem "What's the matter ain't that
toilet brush working out for you?" Clem said
Nah I think I am going to switch back to paper.
My brother got a job in a whiskey distillery but
on the first day at work he "accidently fell"
dove into a vat of whiskey. A couple of his
co-workers tried to pull him out but he fought
them off until he dround...
We had his body cremated, it burned for 2 days.
proabition of alcohol 3 different times. I think
we should let Canada have Maine for that reason
alone, but judgeing by what the other 49 states
elect to serve in Washington and that it would
fuck up the flag and lots of other things we
should keep Maine, unless the Peurto Rico for
the 51st state people come up with the cash
we can do a deal to swap Maine to Canada and
Peurto Rico can be the new 50th state.
Welcome to newest Canadian province
Nova Scota Maine and boy are they a bunch of
weirdos.
As I reached my teens I was amazed that religious
girls were as horny as party girls. I started going
to whatever church my current girlfriend went to
and ended up seeing quite a few religions.
Phenecostpal was the strangest with holy rollers
and speaking in tongues.
The one universal rule of all religions was that
thiers was the only true god and all others were
fake religions.
My favorite religion was baptish as my black
girlfriend liked to have 3 ways with other
girls. I don't know if she was lezbian or
bi but I doubt that many lezbians buy a dildo
as that would make them a cheater on the other
lezbians.
My family has always been Catholic for many
generations. We had a huge family bible in latin
full of scary pictures that nobody could read.
Saturday 7 hours of bible study called caticism
and Sunday church up to 4 hours on your knees for
a religious holiday like christmas or easter.
Never ate meat on Friday as Jesus died on a
Friday while the rest of the world lives for
the weekend Catholics start out with a 24 hour
meat fast and eat fish all day Friday.
The nuns started to hate me from the start as I
asked too many questions. I would listen to the
hour long bible story and then my classmates
would say "Oh thats how you get to go to heaven
when you die."
I asked the nuns about all the latino families
naming baby boys Jesus and wasn't that a
blastphemy or arrogence?
Once I asked "You mean the little baby that was
not baptised doesn't get to go to heaven?" The
old nun left the classroom and I would pounce
on the young nun still there, I would ask
"You mean a lil baby that never did nothing to
nobody, never learned to walk or talk doesn't
get to go to heaven"?
The young nun would improvise and say if the baby
didn't get a chance to be baptised it got to go
to heaven so it was most important for the parents
to baptise the baby as soon as possible.
So then I would ask "You mean if the parents didn't
get the lil baby baptised soon enough then the
parents get to go to heaven but not the lil baby"?
The young nun would then ask if anybody else had a
question about something else? I would say "Yeah
last week we learned about baby Jesus and the virgin
mother Mary, and the old nun left the class without
really answering my question"?
The young nun would start in with the same speech
the old nun said about an allseeing, allpresent god
made a miracle baby that was gods son, so then I
asked what about the 800 year old church that fell
down on all those catholics praying inside in Italy
last month and wouldn't an allseeing, allpresent god
have let the church fall down when it was empty?
I also still haven't about the Noah's arc boat trip
picture I drew, can you tell me how that picture
I drew with one big boat for Noah's family and all
the animals and a small boat for the two skunks
following the big one wasn't how the story was?
And out the door would go the young nun, all my
classmates would look at me and say your not going
to heaven for asking to many questions and I would
answer back that I was baptised so I get to go but
I was walking and talking before I was baptised so
may be there might be something we haven't learned
yet in bible study about how old you are when your
baptised or someone being to old to be baptised.
At the end of the year the nuns would pass out
little religious statues for best student, perfect
attendance or most improved student. I never got
a single statue with 4 years perfect attendance.
After 4 years of every Saturday harassing nuns
they asked my parents if I could stay home on
Saturdays and just show up for church on Sundays
as I was a distraction to my fellow students.
Next week a my long boring story about the
vegaterian hooker with diariea and irratable
bowel syndrome.
et al...
Clem and Earl entered a church raffle and Earl
won first prize a trip to Hawaii and Clem got
last prize a toilet brush. When Earl got back
from his trip he saw Clem who looked very sick.
Earl asked Clem "What's the matter ain't that
toilet brush working out for you?" Clem said
Nah I think I am going to switch back to paper.
My brother got a job in a whiskey distillery but
on the first day at work he "accidently fell"
dove into a vat of whiskey. A couple of his
co-workers tried to pull him out but he fought
them off until he dround...
We had his body cremated, it burned for 2 days.
