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9 things i hate about everyone..LOL

G

Guest

my bro sent me this..gave me a chuckle.whats up brother?:wave:


9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

:smile:
 

cocktail frank

Ubiquitous
Mentor
ICMag Donor
Veteran
good stuff.
but this is obviously from george carlin standup.
imo the funniest man on the face of the planet!
 
G

Guest

hey frank
i did not know that was georges stuff.none the less it is humerous.
 

jarff

Member
I slipped on a patch of ice one day and fell flat on my ass and a lady who was passing by and saw the whole show said "did you slip on the ice"..I said no I dropped a joint.
 
carlin rocks

foxworthy is too close to being my kin. his jokes are our lives...lol.

whos the dude that goes "heres your sign"? he does some funny shit.

richard pryor and eddie live in there primes...funny mofos

i saw robin williams in ny...he was on to...lol

well...
 
how do you feel about ppl saying "we" and their all alone? what we? you got a rat in your pocket? we...lol.

how about "im doing it to help you". ill help you find your thooth. the gov helps me enough. im sure they would seem me up the river and help themselves to my weed.

more to come
 
G

Guest

How about this one: "Hey this smells likes shit! Smell this." If it smells like shit then I will take your word for it.
 

_angst_

Member
Dane Cook used to be funny. He's too narcissistic these days.

I think Robin Williams is fucking hilarious. Lewis Black is hilarious, I think, as well.
 

Guvnor

Active member
In a car driving at 100mph and some prat asking 'Are we there yet?'
If I was at my final destination would the car still be moving idiot?


Funny stuff, number 4 is classic :yes:
All The Best
Guvnor :wave:
 
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